


"I know what it's like to face down your old man"

by skittle479



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-10 16:41:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8924476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skittle479/pseuds/skittle479
Summary: Barba ends up in a messy situation when he is asked to prosecute the case of a boy being physically abused by his father.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [grassysvu67](https://archiveofourown.org/users/grassysvu67/gifts).



 

Rafael's vision swims slightly as he looks down at the blood oozing between his fingers. He pushes down harder, but all that happens is his hands slide off the wound in front of him... a gunshot wound.

He is on the floor of his office, kneeling over the body of an abusive father, who now has a hole in his abdomen. He had no idea that so much blood could come out of such a small hole. Dammit, this certainly isn't going to come out of his carpet.

‘How had it come to this?’ Rafael thinks as he tries to recall the events that had led up to this moment.

 

* * *

  

_Olivia barged into his office, a teenage boy in toe._

_"Barba, I want you to meet Joshua, Joshua Barnes."_

_Rafael stood up, holding out his hand in greeting._

_"Nice to meet you, Joshua," Rafael said politely, noticing that the 15 year old politely had a black eye. As Joshua took his hand, he flinched and Rafael saw the bruises on his knuckles._

_Joshua looked down at the desk, refusing to meet Rafael’s eyes._

_"Barba, Joshua has reported that his father has a history of physical violence towards himself and his mother. We have enough evidence for you to take this to trial."_

 

* * *

 

 Rafael looks up. Joshua is standing at the entrance of his office, the smoking gun still held aloft.

“Rita,” says Rafael, not taking his eyes off Mr. Barnes. He looks over at Rita Calhoun, who has not moved from the position she had been in when Joshua had walked through the door of Rafael’s office and shot her client.

“Rita!” he yells, trying to get her attention, but her eyes are fixed firmly on Joshua.

Rafael turns his attention to Joshua. “Hey Josh, buddy, I need you to put that gun down now. Please?”

Joshua finally takes his eyes off his father’s limp form and meets Rafael’s gaze.

“It’s okay, it’s over, he isn’t going to hurt you anymore. Just put the gun down.”

 

* * *

 

_“Josh, I'd like you to tell me, in your own words, what happened,” Rafael gently asked Joshua to tell his story._

_Joshua took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself to talk about the abuse._

_“I remember when it first started. Dad lost his job, back when I was eight; an accident at work. They said it was his mistake, that he was drunk, that he shouldn't have been working in that state. I don't know if that was the truth or not. I do know that things got tough after that. Dad couldn't find another job and we started having money problems because mom’s job just didn't pay enough. I think dad got depressed because he actually did start drinking. Once I heard him say that he might as well be what they accused him of, because it was all he was good for.”_

_Joshua sighed sadly. “There was a time when he had been a good father, but … maybe it's because he felt like a failure … or maybe he just changed. But he started drinking more and more. And the more he drank, the angrier he became._

_“Then one day he started taking out his anger on Mom. So, naturally, I was next.”_

_Rafael had hated how Joshua had felt that it was natural to be a victim of his father's abuse. But truthfully, he had related to every word that had come out of the teenagers mouth. His hands had curled into fists as Joshua continued talking._

_The physical abuse had continued for years. Rafael had gripped his chair tightly, willing himself to continue listening to Joshua’s story, his story. He hadn't been able to protect his mother, but the one thing he could do was to protect Joshua. So Rafael had continued to listen._

_“After a while, I think it just became normal life.”_

_“What made you come forward?” Rafael asked._

_“I invited my friend over and dad … dad tried hit him too. He, Sean, he convinced me that it wasn't right to live like this.”_

_“Sounds like a good friend.”_

_“He is more than that.”_

_“I see.”_

 

* * *

  

Josh lowers his gun and gently places it on the floor. He slowly walks to one corner of the office and slides down to sit on floor, pulling his knees to his chest and closing his eyes.

Rafael turns his attention back to Rita, who is still sitting motionless at the table.

“Rita!” Rafael calls again, more forcefully this time.

She snaps her head in his direction.

“Rita, I need you to call an ambulance. NOW!”

Rita’s shaking hands are finally able to dial 911.

Rafael looks down at Mr. Barnes again. ‘Why isn’t the bleeding stopping?’ he thinks. ‘I’m pushing down really hard. Oh God, Barnes looks incredibly pale.’

His knees were starting to ache from kneeling on the hard floor. He glanced down and noticed that blood stains were seeping up his pants. “I’m definitely going to have to get a new suit,” he mumbled to himself.

 

* * *

 

 

_“Objection, your Honor” Rafael stood up angrily. “Speculation!”_

_The judge had sustained the objection._

_“Your Honor, may we approach?” It wasn’t common for Rita to ask this. Rafael felt pleased, it meant she was worried._

_The judge had mentioned for them to approach the bench._

_“Your Honor, the prosecution’s case is baseless, they have not presented a shred of evidence to support their theory of years of abuse. By all accounts, my client should be charged with misdemeanor assault. In fact, the prosecution should drop the charges altogether and apologize to the court for wasting their time.”_

_Rafael scoffed. Rita had argued passionately but not convincingly._

_“Nice try, counselor, but I’d like to hear all the evidence before we make that conclusion,” Judge Barth had made her ruling and dismissed them back to their respective tables._

 

* * *

 

‘Why is this taking such a long time?’ Rafael thinks. ‘This is an emergency, surely it shouldn’t take an ambulance such a long time to arrive?’

No one had appeared at the door to find out what had happened, but Rafael suspected that the police had already been alerted. He was in a building full of lawyers; none of these people were the type to come running towards the sounds of a gunshot.

“Rita, do me a favor?”

She nods.

“Will you pick that up for me, please?” Rafael nods his head in the direction of the gun.

Rita slowly makes her way around the room to where Joshua has left the gun, staying as far away from Joshua as possible. She needn’t have worried, Josh stays huddled in the corner as Rita picks the gun up gingerly between two fingers and places it on Rafael’s desk.

 

* * *

 

 

_“Why are you here, Rita?” Rafael asked without turning from his pot of coffee. He had known she would come._

_“We're here to discuss a deal.”_

_Rafael smiled, she was cocky as ever. “Come and take a seat.”_

_He turned around and seen Mr. Barnes also standing in his office and his expression soured._

_“You brought him?” Rafael snarled._

_“I have a right to decide what's acceptable. My runt of a son has been spreading lies and I am here to make sure that he doesn't destroy everything I've worked hard for.” To say that Mr. Barnes had been condescending would an understatement._

_It was at that moment that Joshua appeared._

_“No, he isn't coming home.”_

_Everyone turned at the sound of Joshua’s voice._

_“He can't come home, Mr. Barba, you promised. Sean said…”_

_“Sean?” his father interrupted. “You need to stop spending time with that nasty little…”_

_Rafael hadn't heard the rest of the sentence because Mr. Barnes was cut off by a loud bang._

 

* * *

 

Suddenly, Olivia burst through the doors of his office with the rest of the squad following suit.

“Clear!” Olivia yells as she takes in the scene: Rafael on the floor, his hands on Mr. Barnes’s blood stained abdomen, Rita shaking by the desk, hands hovering over a gun, and Joshua Barnes sitting in a corner, looking like the scared child that he clearly was.

Sonny makes his way over to Joshua, making sure that he isn’t a threat to anyone in the room. Amanda makes a beeline to the desk and disarms the gun in a matter of seconds.

“Barba, what happened?” Olivia asks.

“We had a little incident,” says Rafael, sarcastically.

The paramedics rush into his office and take over Mr. Barnes’s care, allowing Rafael to finally take his hands away. He rises with difficulty, having knelt in the same position for what seemed like an eternity.

“Are you okay?” she asks, worriedly, finally being able to appreciate the amount of blood which had made it onto Rafael’s attire.

“I’m fine,” Rafael swallows hard, willing his legs to stop shaking. ‘I’m fine,’ he repeated to himself as he sits down on the couch.

He watches as the paramedics transfer Mr. Barnes onto a gurney and wheel him out, followed by Sonny taking Joshua into police custody. Rita was nowhere to be seen. Rafael frowns and opens his mouth to speak.

“Rollins took Calhoun down to the station to get her version of events,” Olivia says, sitting down next to Rafael. She hands him a towel so he could wipe his bloody hands. “Are you okay?”

“That could have been me,” Rafael says dismally.

“Barba, look, Joshua wasn’t aiming at you. I know that this must have been extremely frightening, but you weren’t his target.”

Rafael hesitates before correcting Olivia’s assumption. “No, I mean…” he pauses, could he tell Olivia about his past? “I could just as easily have been in Joshua’s position.”

“You wanted to shoot Mr. Barnes?” Olivia asks, confused.

“I wanted to … kill my father.”

Olivia is silent beside him. Rafael picks at his nails, why couldn’t he wipe away that blood?

“I hit him once, he fell back and hit his head on the kitchen table. There was so much blood then too. I thought he was dead, and for a few seconds ... I was relieved. Of course, then I panicked, but Mami was there, she knew what to do. He was always drunk, you know, always … We were never good enough for him, my mother and I.” Rafael takes a deep breath, his hands curling into fists as he continues.

“All I wanted was to get away from him, it didn’t matter to me how, I just wanted out. I guess I got lucky, with the scholarship to law school. Dear old dad passed away from … natural causes ... from the alcohol.”

“Barba, I’m so sorry you had to go through that,” Olivia puts her hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t be too hard on Josh, will you?” Rafael asks pleadingly.

“We’ll find him a good lawyer.”

“Thank…” Before Rafael could finish his sentence, Olivia’s phone rings.

“Benson,” she answers it, kurtly.

Rafael hears Fin on the other end of the phone. “Liv, I’m at the hospital. Barnes didn’t make it.”

“Thanks, Fin,” Olivia hangs up the phone.

“He didn't make it.”

Olivia shakes her head. “I'm sorry.”

“I'm not the one you should be sorry for.”


End file.
